The Grim Reaper and The Cookie Reaper
by Storm Reaper VII
Summary: *On Hiatus* En route to the Novus Orbis Librarium's Kagutsuchi branch, Ragna the Bloodedge encounters a mysterious girl under the effects of Seither Poisoning. Entrusted with her safety by little more than this chance encounter, Ragna continues in his crusade of vengeance... whilst enduring the all too cheery nature of Ruby Rose.
1. An Unwanted Burden

_**Red 001: An Unwanted Burden**_

"Damn, this forest just ain't letting up…" a certain Reaper growled to himself as he continued to travel through the mist covered woods. "That'll be an _awesome_ way to spend the turn of the century, alone in the woods surrounded by nothing but Seither and trees. This is starting to get on my damned nerves…"

The vulgar figure in question was one Ragna the Bloodedge, otherwise known as _The Grim Reaper, The SS-class criminal, the head that could buy a country_ , and several other less flattering titles that he'd been given in his crusade against the world government known as the Novus Orbis Librarium, or NOL as it was more commonly known. He'd just destroyed a branch and the cauldron within rather recently, but he hadn't been satisfied with his work, not by a long shot. Sighing to himself he continued to trek on, starting to become aware of a presence following him.

' _Whoever's following me ain't_ _no slouch at going stealthy, but I can tell exactly where they are,_ ' he thought to himself with narrowed eyes. ' _The next clearing, I get to I'm going to_ -'

"Uhhhhhhh…" a voice moaned sickly. Ragna's first thought was that there was a ghost in these forests and that he should book it, but he heard another sickly gurgle from nearby. "Muuuhhh…"

"Tch, now what?" he groaned to himself before he decided to check it out against his better judgement.

Keeping his senses open for whoever was following him, Ragna passed through a light thicket and leapt over a few ferns with ease to come upon what looked be a young girl leaning against the base of a tree. She had dark brown hair and silver glazed-over eyes. Her dress consisted of a black corset and skirt along with white sleeves for armwear. A small trail of drool seemed to be escaping from her lip and nearly made its way down to her clothes. Kneeling down and getting a better look at her, he could clearly see what the problem was.

"Seither poisoning," he observed aloud. "Doesn't look like she's at the terminal level yet, but if she stays out here any longer she could get there… But what the hell's a kid doing out in the middle of nowhere in the first place?" Putting those thoughts aside for the moment, Ragna decided to address his other problem. "You might as well come out whoever you are, I'm starting to get tired of you stalking my ass."

"Heh, yer about as crude as ever, eh Ragna?" a familiar voice said as a figure leapt from up above. Ragna turned to face the newcomer with a surprise in his eyes. A short furry and bipedal cat that he knew quite well.

"Master?" the Reaper said with confusion. "What the hell brings you out here?"

"Out on the middle of an errand I had to do; saw you wanderin' about and swearin' ta yerself so I figured I'd drop by and see how you were doin'. Wasn't expecting ya ta spot me so easily though."

Jubei, Ragna's teacher, was a hero of a time long since passed known as the _Dark War_. He was part of an old order of warriors known as the _Six Heroes_ which was known for saving humanity from the brink of destruction. After the war though, Jubei had gone into hiding, and it was clear that he and Ragna had similar views for the NOL's control of the world. It'd been quite a while since Ragna had seen his old teacher, back before his own personal rebellion had begun.

"So this kid's yours then?" Ragna had to ask as he looked to the downed girl.

"Nah, I just found her when you did, no tellin' who she is or what brings her to this place," Jubei told him. "Lucky you found her before she got into real trouble."

"Yeah, lucky," Ragna grumbled to himself before looking off in the distance. "Looks like I'm getting closer to Kagutsuchi, I should pick up the pace if I'm going to get there soon."

"Hang on, you're not just going to leave the poor girl here are you?" Jubei demanded. "Didn't think turning ya into a rebel meant making ya heartless…"

"Who are you calling heartless? I'm just leaving her with you since you seem to care so damn much," Ragna retorted him with a glare. "Besides, she doesn't seem so innocent; she's carrying a damn weapon ain't she? She's probably some kind of kid vigilante or something."

"You got a good eye, but I can't take care of 'er; got my own errands to worry about," Jubei told him. "She's your responsibility."

"Wait a damned minute!" Ragna yelled harshly. "I don't remembering signing up for shit like this when-!"

"Uhhhhh…" the young girl moaned again before lurching forward and vomiting. Looking down at the poor thing, Ragna felt a pang of guilt for leaving her like this while he argued with his master. Looking back up, he noticed Jubei glancing his way with an expectant eye.

"...If she tries to get me in the back when she recovers, I'll never let you here the end of this, cat," Ragna finally relented, causing Jubei to smirk slightly. Grabbing a handkerchief out of his pocket (Rachel had insisted he carry one for whatever reason), Ragna did his best to wipe to drool and vomit off the comatose girl's face before picking her off the ground and carrying her off piggyback style.

"Damn, forgot to give the boy the warning," Jubei thought to himself aloud after Ragna had left.

"Even if you had gifted him with your foresight, I doubt that he'd be able to be make much use of it," a cool voice told him.

"Whoa! Dammit Rachel, you gotta stop sneakin' up on me like that!" the former hero shouted in surprise. "That ain't healthy for an old man like me…"

"Old or not, I'd say your health is still in quite fair condition, oh _One Eyed Lotus_ ," the young girl with long blond pigtails said as she looked upon her old ally.

"Quit callin' me that, you know how much I hate that name," Jubei told her. "More to th' point though, is that girl Ragna found your doing?"

"Therein lies a mystery I'm afraid," she told him. "That girl does not seem to be of this world nor does she seem to be another shift, I'd say she's wandered here uninvited… She does not appear to be of Terumi's doing, that much I can be sure of."

"That still seems like a problem," Jubei admitted. "Wonder what Ragna's going to do when she wakes up… or if he can even make sense of this…"

"Knowing him that's doubtful," Rachel told him. "I only hope his laughable temper doesn't lead him towards committing anything drastic."

"Yeah, no kiddin'…" Jubei muttered. "Anyways, I should be off; got my own errands t' run."

"Godspeed Jubei," Rachel told him with a kind smile before disappearing.

Not far away, Ragna was busy sprinting through the woods as he carried the girl on his back. He knew that going to Kagutsuchi with the condition the girl was in would be risky, so at the moment he was resolved to try and handle said problem himself while he could. During his frantic search he finally managed to come across what he'd been searching for.

"This place will do, seither's as thin as it'll get and we've got some medicinal herbs," he said aloud as he set the girl down.

Listening to her mumble incoherently a he laid her against a tree, he placed his hand upon her forehead and muttered a brief incantation. He'd learned this Ars from Jubei a while ago; it had the ability to drain a still body of Seither for recovery. Initially Ragna hadn't seen the use of such an ability since he wouldn't be able to use it on himself, but it looked like his old teacher had the right idea. The young girl's complexion immediately seemed to improve as color slowly returned to her face.

"Uhh… What… happened…?" she moaned as she looked up at Ragna, who was only a dark and blurry figure to her eyes, yet she could easily she the glowing green and red of his irises. "Who…?"

"Take it easy, you're not looking too good right now," Ragna said before reaching into grabbing the herbs and crushing them into tiny pieces in his hand. "This is gonna taste bitter as hell, but it'll help you get the rest of the Seither out of your system."

The girl in front of him mumbled incoherently, so Ragna forced the herbs into her hand and made her bring it up to her mouth. At their promised bitter taste, her eyes seemed to light up with disgust, but luckily the girl only hurriedly swallowed the herbs instead of spitting it out in his face.

"Ugh…" the girl moaned as her head continued to slump over.

"Hey, stay with me," Ragna ordered as he gently shook her shoulder just keep her awake. "C'mon, listen to me. You got a name?"

"R… Ruh… Ru...by…" the girl muttered as her head slumped forward. Somewhat worried, Ragna put his fingers on her neck and checked her pulse, letting out a breath of relief when he felt a strong beat. To make things easier, he then heard light snoring that showed she merely fallen asleep.

"Well that's her taken care of," he muttered to himself. "But why's all this shit being pushed on me all of a sudden? I'm supposed to be a terrorist, not a damn babysitter." Seeing her shiver in front of him at the lack of warmth he let out a sigh. "Guess I can't just leave her here, last thing I want is this chick's ghost coming back to haunt me."

Taking his jacket and sword off, he laid his favorite fashion statement over the mysterious Ruby while sitting cross-legged in front of her holding his trusted blade. Listening to the sounds of the forest, he knew that there would be Seither beasts out soon enough, but it there was no telling when they'd start going for the two of them. The Reaper let out a long groan as he readied himself for a long night.

 _ **Author's Note: I don't own anything.**_

 _ **Went back and edited my mistakes, but that was about it. Hope you enjoyed it.**_


	2. Ruby Rose

_**Red 002: Ruby Rose**_

"Ugh…" Ruby groaned to herself as she slowly opened her eyes as to the bright sunshine of the morning. ' _Where am I?_ ' she thought to herself through her headache before she slowly rose off her back to sit upright, noticing the jacket that had been covering her as it fell. "Why… why was thing on me?"

"'Cause my plan to save you would've sucked if you'd caught hypothermia," a gruff voice told her. Turning her head, Ruby eyes fell upon a frightening man with silver hair who had his arms cross as his red and green eyes glared at her from beneath the tree's shade.

' _Eep! Scary!_ ' Ruby screamed in her mind as Ragna continued to scowl at her. "Wh-what's wrong?"

"With you, too much…" the enigma told her harshly. "For now though, you mind giving me my damn jacket back?"

"Okay…" Ruby said meekly as she frightfully inched forward towards Ragna, literally going only an inch at a time and only when she worked up the courage every few seconds. When she finally made it within four feet of him she held the coat out with a shaky arm. Ragna grunted as he harshly swipped it back from her. "Um… who are you?"

' _She doesn't know who I am? Guess they didn't put a bounty poster out on me yet…_ ' Ragna thought to himself. ' _Still, I probably shouldn't use my real name._ ' "...Call me… Red."

"Red?" Ruby repeated as Ragna put his favored coat back on, satisfied with the lack of drool on his fashion statement. "So your parents named you after a color too, though it's normally not that blunt. Anyways, I'm Ruby Rose. A new transfer student to Beacon Academy… Wait, new student? That doesn't sound right..."

"Beacon?" Ragna repeated. "Is that what they're calling the NOL Academy these days?"

"What's the NOL?" Ruby asked, becoming further confused as she tried to think back. "Let's see, I just completed the entrance exam… Weiss, Blake, Yang, and I were all put on the same team by Ozpin… and after that we… why can't I remember."

"...You got amnesia?" Ragna questioned with speculation, his glare still scary to Ruby as he was having a hard time believing the child. "Maybe it's an after effect of the poisoning, you _were_ completely coated in Seither when I found ya."

"What's Seither?" she asked, causing the older Reaper to stare at her in disbelief. "H-Hey, I don't know alright. Is it anything like dust?"

"Um… it's a lot more lethal than any _dust_ ," he told her with a blanched face. _'Seriously, either this chick is mocking me or she got the worst case of asthma in history..._ ' His thoughts were interrupted as Ruby slowly feel to her knees and was forced to grip her temples. "H-Hey! Get it together!"

"My head…" she groaned, apparently not fully recovered from her sickness. Her face was stuck in a harsh wince as her felt like it was about to split open, a constant high-pitched whine sounding in her ears. With her eyes shut tight, she felt a gloved hand place itself upon her forehead before the pain started to slowly diminish.

"Don't give me a friggin' heart attack," Ragna muttered as he helped a shaky Ruby to her feet. "Look, we'll talk later. Let's just get out of these woods for right now." The enigmatic girl nodded in agreement, but was rather confused when Ragna turned and knelt in front of her. "...Well kid, are you getting on or not?"

"I-I'm not a little kid!" she shouted leaving Ragna to roll his eyes.

"Listen to me, if you want to get out of these woods you're going to have to trust me. It's pretty damn obvious that you don't know what to look for when you're avoiding Seither and I can't have you getting sick again when you're barely standing as is. Just shut up, hang on, and I'll get you to someone who can take a look at your sickness better than I can, alright?"

"I could go faster than you if…" Ruby said before she was again hit by another headache which forced her to fall forward onto Ragna. Slowly rising back to his feet, Ragna tensed his muscles to take off running before pausing. "What are you waiting for?"

"Need to grab something first," Ragna muttered to himself in angry disdain. "To think that I almost left it behind…" He headed behind the tree he'd been standing in front of when Ruby had awoken. Impaled in the ground there was an oversized blade which he roughly yanked out of the ground with a single hand.

"Aw-Awesome!" Ruby exclaimed from behind Ragna, leaving the wanted man to grimace as she did so right in his ear. "What kind of weapon is that!? Can it transform!? Can it use dust!? How much does it weigh!?"

"Oi! Calm down! You're just going to hurt yourself with that excitement," Ragna commanded harshly.

"Well what can it _do?_ C'mon, at least tell me that much!" Ragna couldn't see Ruby face with the way he was holding her, but if he could it would be impossible to miss the sparkle in her eyes... he could swear he felt it though.

"Well… For one thing it does this," Ragna said before swinging the blade through the air. Ruby gave a small shriek as she was forced to cling to Ragna's back before his blade cleaved through a mass of darkness shade into some form of a wolf. The mass gave a feral shriek before it was turned back into a shadowy mist.

"Was that a _Grimm!?_ " Ruby demanded, causing Ragna to raise an eyebrow.

"It's a Seither beast, a creature shaped out of the dark energy that was killing you earlier," he explained before glancing around. "And it looks like we're surrounded by 'em…"

Indeed, the two had found themselves in the center of a large pack of the monsters. A group of wolves were eagerly circling around the two and looking for an opening where they could charge forward and attack them. Ragna knew that he'd have little to worry about if it'd been just himself, but he doubted Ruby could even take one Seither based attacks in her critical condition.

"You… don't feel like you're about to throw up, do you?" he questioned nervously.

"Ugh… at this point I really don't know," the younger girl moaned. That had not been what Ragna was hoping for.

"No choice then," he muttered as one of the wolves broke off from the pack and rushed towards him. Knowing that using his BlazBlue this close to Ruby could only make things worse for his new charge, Ragna swung his blade upwards with great force and cleaved through the creature and Ruby simply continued to cling to him as tightly as she could. "Just hold on and don't let go. I'll get us through this, promise."

"A-All right…" Ruby told him. If she'd been in better condition for fighting she would have taken her weapon and slayed these creatures herself, but for right now there was nothing else she could do but trust _Red_ to get them through this.

Ragna grunted as he cleaved through yet another of the Seither wolf while wielding his blade in his left hand while trying to support Ruby on his back with his right. He saw that the creatures had stopped circling the two and had instead brought themselves into one large group. He brought his sword out and was about to charge before unconsciously stopping himself.

' _What the hell's_ _with me?_ ' he thought as he ran off to an opening to his side, causing a few of the beasts to break off from their pack and follow him. _'This group is nothing, especially compared to those countless NOL guards that I take on at a time. So why the hell am I playing it safe like this?_ '

Hearing Ruby groan in her sickness from behind him, Ragna paused in his fighting to examine the young girl and make sure that she was still alright. It was only for a second, but in that time two of the beasts had leapt into the air around him from opposing sides. Grunting, he quickly spun his body and drove _BloodScythe_ through each of the creatures, tearing them to pieces.

' _It's 'cause_ _of her…'_ he thought as he kept running and leading the beasts off from their group. _'I'm thinking this through because I've got someone to worry about, someone that I'm protecting because they can't look out for themselves…'_

Stabbing his sword through yet another of the monsters that had leapt at him, his mind drifted to his past. His home burned to the ground, his guardian cut to shreds in a gory display, the only two people he'd ever loved stolen from him by a cackling madman as he lied on the ground helpless and bleeding to death. Ragna grit his teeth at his prior weakness as while the remaining beasts edged ever closer to the two.

"S...Sorry…" Ruby said from behind him in her sick groan. "Don't want to… hold you back… _Red_..."

"Worry about yourself kid, this is nothing," Ragna told her with a dark tone as the monsters gave a shrill collective howl before rushing forward at two with feral snarls. The Grim Reaper gave a shout as he brought his blade up and was forced to return the charge.

 _I'm NEVER going through that bullshit again…_

 _ **Author's Note: Chapter two updated and edited. Next.**_


	3. Criminal

_**Red 003: Criminal**_

"Tch, looks like we finally made it," Ragna groaned as he carried Ruby through the busy streets of Kagutsuchi. With all of the time it had taken him to defeat the Seither beasts in his path, find a way to infiltrate the city, and climb upwards to Orient Town, the sun was already starting to set off in the horizon. "You still with me kid?"

"I'm here _Red_ ," Ruby he told him, using the name Ragna had told her to call him by. Glancing back, he could just see out of the corner of his eyes that Ruby was looking around at her surroundings with a sense of awe and amazement. "You... you can put me down now," she tried to remind him.

"Not just yet," Ragna told her as he shook his head, unintentionally brushing his spiky silver hair across Ruby's face causing her body to go ridged for a brief movement at the contact. "You're feeling fine now, but just because you've recovered slightly from the Seither doesn't mean that you're in the clear just yet. I'm making sure we don't have any more surprises until I get you to a doctor."

"A-Alright," Ruby told him as she continued to hold on.

' _Let's see... where the hell am I going to find a proper doctor around here?_ ' Ragna thought to himself with a sigh before a strong smell hit his nose, the smell of fresh food. ' _Damn, I haven't eaten in a few days... I should find that doctor soon and eat before I collapse from the hunger._ '

"Meoooooow..."

"What the?" Ragna began before looking near his feet. Lying on the dirty ground was a strange creature in a cream-colored coat with cat ears on the hood. Twin tails seemed to be peeking out from under the coat.

"Soooooo hungry..." the creature groaned.

' _C'mon, I don't have time for this shit, I've got to find Ruby a clinic and take the branch down before the NOL finds out I'm in Kagutsuchi_ ,' Ragna thought to himself as he stepped over the cat.

"MEOW! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!? YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BUY TAO FOOD! NOT JUST IGNORE HER!"

The cat from earlier had sprung to her feet, her 'too-weak-and-hungry-to-move' ploy apparently a weak hoax that Ragna had seen through readily. The Reaper didn't decide to address it and continued walking forward.

"Uh... Red?" Ruby tried to tell him.

"Ignore it... Please," he begged as he kept walking.

"You're the worst you... you... dog person!" the cat shouted.

"Wow, great insult there, I'm feeling _real_ shaken," Ragna groaned as he noticed people starting to pay attention. ' _Shit, this is where I need to start moving and-_ '

"Red! Behind you!" Ruby shouted suddenly, forcefully yanking on her carrier's hair.

The sudden pain coupled with her shout caused the Reaper to duck forward, narrowly dodging the metal claws that had sprung out of the creature's strange gloved paws. Ragna quickly spun and held onto Ruby with one of his arms while taking out his blade _BloodScythe_ with his other one.

"What the hell was that for!? Are you trying to kill me!?"

"Spiky head won't give Tao any food, so Tao's gonna fight him till she gets fed!" the cat declared.

"You're a real pain in the ass, you know that!?" Ragna shouted as more and more people started to notice the conflict as they passed by. "Fine have it your way," he muttered as he set Ruby down against a wall.

"Don't you want some help Red?" Ruby asked him as she managed to stand with little difficulty.

"I'll be fine, just give me a minute," Ragna promised as he stared down the creature before him. ' _My master used to tell me stories about the Kaka clan's warriors, but this is my first time facing one in an actual fight. I'll have to finish this quick and I shouldn't try using my Ars Magus so... let's keep this as basic as I can._ '

"Meow! Here we go!" the figure known as Tao shouted before leaping into the air, once she was high enough in the air, she changed direction and lunged toward Ragna with high speed leading the Reaper to side step the attack, only for Tao to change direction when she came to a stop, leaving Ragna to guard against the attack that came at him from behind.

 _'Wow, she's pretty agile,_ ' Ruby thought as Tao's claws emerged from her paws and she tried slashing at her guide with great ferocity, leaving him to deflect each attack as she came at it. ' _Is that another type of a speed semblance?'_

"Tao's gonna get you Spiky!" the cat promised as she charged up her hands behind her before unleashing a powerful double palm trust on Ragna, who actually lurched slightly under the force of the strike. "Got ya neow!" Tao shouted as she went into grapple him.

"As if," Ragna grunted before spinning into a powerful roundhouse that caught Tao in the center of her chest and sent her flying back. Tao screamed as she was sent through the air before crashing into a large trash pile. "All talk and no fight..."

As soon as Ragna had muttered that, however, one of the garbage bags from the pile was flung at him with great force. Ragna sighed as he caught it with a single arm before throwing it to the ground, only to see Tao was sending a barrage of waste bags at him.

"Tao's not done yet!" she shouted as she continued to throw waste bags at him. The Reaper continued the avoid the garbage, now noticing as some of them were already partially torn open the that the garbage would torn out when Tao threw them.

' _This cat's fighting dirty, literally,_ ' Ragna thought to himself as the streets became further cluttered with garbage. He then leaped into the air and dashed forward, avoiding the mess on the ground.

"Tao's got ya now!" the cat shouted as she pounced at her airborne opponent, only for Ragna to grab her when he was within range. "Meow?"

"Shut up!" Ragna shouted as he kneed her in mid-air, sending the Kaka warrior into a wall with enough force that she bounced off of the impact. Once she'd returned to him, Ragna roared as he unleashed a massive haymaker with his fist, catching Tao and sending her into the ground with enough force to leave a large indent and create a large tremor.

' _W-wow, he's pretty strong_ ," Ruby thought as Ragna stared over the downed cat.

"Meow... Tao lost..." it whimpered pathetically before a low groaned was heard from its stomach.

"..." Ragna didn't say anything as he looked to the beaten cat before glancing back at Ruby. "Hey kid, you're not feeling too sick to eat are ya?"

"I-I guess," Ruby admitting, thinking it was kind of mean for Red to ask while a hunger prone individual lie on the ground in front of him.

"Guess I don't have any choice," Ragna muttered as he picked the immobilized Tao up by the scruff of her coat and threw her over his shoulder. "Let's go grab some grub then..."

"Meow? GOOD GUY!" Tao said, instantly perking up and throwing her arms around Ragna in an affectionate hug. "Yay! Good guy's going to treat Tao to food!"

"Calm down, I'm only feeding you 'cause I couldn't just leave you on the floor after kicking your ass," Ragna muttered. _'Then again, she did recover pretty quick when I brought up food._ '

 _'He's_ _actually going to by her food... Maybe Red's a lot nicer than he tries to let on,_ ' Ruby thought to herself before looking around the area. "Uh... what about all of the garbage?"

"Right... Give me a second," Ragna told her before he pried Tao off of him. He then headed to where he was opposite of the alley where the garbage had been. Bracing his sword for a short moment, he unleashed a massive slash that was powerful enough to create a heavy torrent of wind that violently blasted into the garbage forcing it back into the pile. "There, that's one mess cleaned up..."

"Good guy shouldn't litter, it's a grim-in-all offense," Tao tried to lecture.

"That's _criminal,_ and it's your fault for throwing trash at me in the first place," Ragna groaned leaving Ruby to giggle slightly. "Whatever, are we grabbing food or not?"

"Oh! Oh! Tao knows a good place to grab food! Follow her!" Tao shouted as she started walking down the street.

' _Looks like no one's going to grab the cops,'_ Ragna thought to himself with a relief as he noticed the onlookers returning to her business. ' _Now that I think about it, the NOL should've been here by now, aren't they supposed to be on high alert since they heard I was coming?_ '

"Something wrong Red?" Ruby asked. "Your face got all serious all of a sudden."

"It's always serious," the Reaper tried to tell her leaving Ruby to roll her eyes as Ragna came up with a lie. "...Just thinking about how much this damn food might cost me."

 _Later_

 _'I was right to worry,'_ Ragna thought to himself. "Hey Tao! For the love of god slow down! You're going to make yourself sick at that rate!"

"Meow! Tao's not slowing down! These meat buns are almost as good as the ones Tao gets from Boobie-Lady!"

"Boobie-Lady?" Ragna repeated in confusion. "That some sort of strip- Ruby! Why the hell did you only grab your dessert!?"

"Are you kidding me? There are so many cookies here! It's be a crime if I didn't try all of them!" Ruby shouted with a blissful smile where she was seated beside Ragna.

"All of that sugar's going to put you in the hospital," Ragna groaned. ' _Damn it, when the hell did I turn out to be such a parent?_ ' "So Tao, think you can stop eating long enough to tell us both why the hell you were lying on the side of a busy street?"

"Tao was trying to catch grim-in-alls!" Tao told him happily.

"For the second time, that's _criminals_ ," Ragna said with a sigh. "So (dare I ask) why were you out trying to catch criminals?"

"Tao's trying to become a Vergil-Auntie-!"

" _Vigilante_ ," the Reaper muttered. "And you're trying to do this because...?"

"Tao's doing this to earn money for food!" the cat told him. "The Kaka village doesn't have much money, so Tao's going to beat up a bunch bad guys and get lotsa money!"

"How noble,' Ragna responded with great snark as he finally managed to start digging into his rice.

"Yep, they're even posting pictures of a guy with a lot of money on him, take a look," Tao said, showing Ragna a wanted posted a hideous, fish-lipped, glaring, and filthy criminal.

"Jeeze, who's ugly? That face is crime enough," Ragna said as he tried to resume eating.

"He's the HISS-HISS class criminal, Rawrgna the Blood-fridge!"

"Ragna the... Blood-fridge?" Ruby repeated while Ragna had a clearly horrified expression on his face as he looked over the picture. "Wait... this sort of looks like..."

"THERE'S NO RESEMBLENCE!" he shouted at the top of his lungs, leaving the restaurant to grow quiet for a moment. Ragna sighed at his involuntary outburst before realizing that most men were starting to eye him with growing suspicion. "I... I mean..." He then looked at Ruby who was only staring at him with a terrified expression. "Aw... Shit..."

"Hey! That's Ragna the Bloodedge!" a man shouted as he rose from his chair with an Ars Magus lance in his hands.

"Doesn't look quite as hideous as the guy on the poster, but there's no mistaking him," a female vigilante said as she rose carrying a mini sub-machine gun.

"I heard that the bounty on his head is so high that you can buy a small country with it!" another person said as they rose with a sword.

"This... is looking bad..." Ragna said, while he was sweating, unaware that Tao had just ordered the entire restaurant out of food. "Just so we're clear... how many of you are vigilantes?"

All remaining restaurant patrons then rose from their seats, all of them carrying a weapon.

"The whole damn restaurant is full of bounty hunters... of course, WHAT WAS I EXPECTING!?" Ragna shouted as he violently stood. ' _Damn... Run or fight? What am I supposed to do here?_ '

"Hey, what about those two girls with him?" another vigilante asked.

"Maybe they're fans of his or something?" a tall muscular one commented. "Still, they look a little young to be seduced by the Grim Reaper."

"SEDUCED!?" Ruby shouted as she stood and had her weapon transform into a scythe, a display that left Ragna surprised for the briefest of instances. Ruby then charged her semblance to spring forward for the knockout. "TIME TO-!"

She couldn't continue as Ragna grabbed the back of her clothes and took off running with her under his left arm and Tao over his right shoulder.

"MY MEATBUNS!" Tao shouted.

"SHUT UP AND TELL ME HOW TO GET OUT OF HERE!" Ragna shouted.

"DINE AND DASH! DINE AND DASH!" the restaurant owner shouted while the bounty hunters took off after him.

"GET HIM! THE REWARD IS OURS!" one of them shouted as spears, bullets, knives, and countless other weapon flew around the Reaper, narrowly missing him and his girls he was carrying off.

"PUT ME DOWN! I CAN RUN ON MY OWN!" Ruby shouted hitting against Ragna's chest which he did his best to ignore.

"THEY THINK YOU'RE WITH ME! IT'S YOUR LIFE ON THE LINE!" Ragna shouted as he continued to run. "TAO! WHERE THE HELL ARE WE GOING!?"

"TO THE KAKA VILLAGE!"

"GIVE ME SOME DIRECTIONS THEN!"

"YOU'RE TAO-TOLLY GOING THE WRONG WAY MEOW!" Tao shouted.

"For the love of..." Ragna muttered before turning and charging towards the bounty hunters.

"Here we go, PAY DAY!" one shouted as he readied his rifle and fixed it on the Reaper's head.

"Not today!" Ragna shouted as he dodged all of the fire by leaping over the entire group of vigilantes. The entire group was awestruck as all of their attacks missed before he landed behind them and took off running down the street. They tried to pursue, but quickly started to fall behind with his speed.

"Damn... running on a barely full stomach," Ragna groaned to himself before he glanced to Ruby who was glaring daggers at him. "...Seems to be the least of my problems."


End file.
